Going through H-E-double-hockey-sticks

Fun fact about me: I used to work at a chicken farm.

I spent my weekends standing in front of a conveyor belt, picking and sorting eggs. I would also walk up and down the barn amidst 10,000 birds scanning the poo-filled ground for errant eggs that didn't make it into the conveyor-belted nests.

The work was repetitive and tedious, and this was long before mp3 players — let alone smartphones and podcasts — so the entertainment options were few.

(Read: There was one radio, and it got two stations.)

(Sometimes.)

Most of the time the only thing you could get reception for was a country station, and even though I didn't start that job as a country music lover, I definitely left as one because those country songs sure know how to hit you in the feels.

Along the way, I came across a song called Going through Hell by Rodney Atkins. I remember hearing it for the first time as I was driving down the highway, and it hit me haaaaard. I don't remember why, but I was hooked by the lyrics:

If you're going through hell, keep on going
Don't slow down, if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there.

If you're going through hell, keep on moving
Face that fire, walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there.

Okay. So maybe the lyrics aren't quite as profound as the way my memory has stored them, but the point is that over the years, the same words have come back to me when things are hard — and they've actually served as a really big source of support when things don't just feel hard, but they feel impossible, and then seem to get worse:

If you're going through hell, keep on moving. Face that fire, walk right through it.

Maybe it's the Sagittarius in me, but there's something so gripping about that imagery; about the power of fire, the transformation it delivers, and its ability to make things new...even though it hurts like hell along the way.

The impact of fire is immense, which is why it's so important that we don't diminish the devastation it can cause along the way, especially if it's not carefully tended to.

The work is takes to heal after a blaze — literal or spiritual — is a lot.

And 2020 has been an inferno.

So today, this email comes delivered with whispers of "just keep moving," and a reminder that — despite what Rodney Atkins says — it is okay to be scared and show it.

It's okay to fear taking the next step when you have no idea what the one after it is; sometimes naming the thing you're actually afraid of can even diminish its power. Especially if you realize it's an imagined fear.

It's okay to zig-zag a little en route and explore all available options, even if the people around you are following straight, carefully plotted out paths.

It's even okay to backtrack and make a different choice if you change your mind — especially if you get new information.

This adventure is yours to choose, and either way, you're going to get through it.

But while you're there — in the midst of the fiery hardness, most definitely not on the other side — be gentle with yourself.

This is a season, and despite the way it feels, it will not last forever.

It will last for an unforeseen amount of time though, so it's wise to tread carefully. Ration your stores of mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual energy because you'll need all of it to keep going.

Along the way, take the time and make the space to recover To repair. To heal.
Honour and meet your needs where you are, not where you want to be.

Deep breaths. Baby steps. You can do hard things.

With big love and so many feelings,

x Justine

PS. If all the feelings get to be too much sometimes, you are not alone. I, too, am a Very Big Feeler.

When I'm caught in a riptide of feels, I find it helpful to tap into these strategies to try during emotional flooding, c/o Dr. Hillary McBride. I hope they're as helpful for you as they have been for me. 💛

PPS. If you want to get some coaching and support around all of the going through h-e-double-hockey-sticks shiz, Stayin’ Alive just might be what you’re looking for.

It’s a four-week group coaching program designed to help you recalibrate your Self-care strategies and figure out how to take care of your Self amidst all of the everything that has been delivered this year.

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